Winston interviews Graham Roumieu
Graham Roumieu is a model employee at Penguin Group Canada. He seems to enjoy sitting quietly in his cubicle drawing his little pictures and weeping softly to himself. Before giving it all up to pursue exciting career opportunities at Penguin Group (Canada). Graham worked as a freelance illustrator and writer. His clients included The New York Times, Harper's Magazine, The Wall Street Journal and Disney amongst many others. Graham is also the creator of the wildly popular books In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot and Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir. Keep in mind that speaking to Graham of his past is strictly prohibited at Penguin Group (Canada).
Is killing your boss as much to do as it is to think about? Roumieu revealed such trade secrets when he sat down with Winston in anticipation of the This Is Not A Reading Series event to launch his graphic novel / how-to manual, 101 Ways To Kill Your Boss, on Monday, January 24, 7:30pm (Doors 7pm) at Gladstone Hotel Ballroom, 1214 Queen St West.
W: Why did you decide to turn a new leaf, and follow up your bestselling series of Bigfoot books by helping the undervalued, overworked, and underpaid workers of the world? Was there an ‘Oprah’ moment? Or just an epiphany?
G: Almost every writer and illustrator intends to do a book like this at some point in their career. They wake up one morning, spit a stale, cigaretty film into their bathroom sink, look up at their sallow reflection and think to themselves "it's time to make a humorous manual about workplace homicide". Karl Marx gave it a go but it turns out he couldn't draw for shit and was just generally too serious. Louis Carroll's draft was a drug-addled fantastical pile of gibberish( I mean really, without a certain degree of plausibility there is no humour). Dr. Seuss/ Theodore Gissel's was too bloody, though in his defense he actually managed to rhyme something with 'Garborator'.
I suppose through a combination of clarity and providence I was able to tame one of the visual gift book world's Chinese finger traps.
W: Based on the anecdotal evidence you collected researching the book, do all the methods in 101 Ways To Kill Your Boss work?
G: Before we go any further I have to say this: drawing funny pictures of grisly murders and viewing those pictures is good, clean fun. Enjoy them with friends, family and total strangers. Actually murdering people is, to the best of my knowledge, still very wrong. Consider me indemnified.
Now to the answer:
The thousands of hours of lab time and millions in research dollars suggest yes. Ultimately it comes down to the individual though. For example, if you want Santa to stab your boss in the back of the head with a bread knife there are two terms that are not negotiable. You must believe in Santa and you must have been a good boy or girl this year.
W: Have you ever had a boss you didn’t want to kill?
G: I don't think I've ever felt malice towards any boss I have had in the past. Really, now that I'm my own boss, I feel mostly sympathy for them so it wouldn't be so much murder as a euthanization.
W: Where do you stand on that perennial conundrum: rock, paper, or scissors?
G: I wish there were three gangs of young, local street-toughs, each with the respective names Rock, Paper and Scissors.
CBC, are you reading this? I think we have a hit drama series on our hands! I see Nicholas Campbell in every role. Seriously, I love that guy. Have you ever spent a day talking like you were in an episode of Davinci's Inquest? It's good fun.
W: Many people find that their idiot boss crushes their spirit to such a degree that they just punch the clock. They are not motivated to be efficient or productive.
Would mass Boss-i-cide thus be good for the economy?
G: Strictly horticulturally speaking, sometimes the pruning of one bloom is good for the beauty of the other. Sorry, I go off on a lot of gardening advice tangents. What was the question again?
W: Who is your favourite Sesame Street character? Why?
G: Bruno, the garbage man that carried around Oscar because he never complained. On the other end, I sort of hate Elmo because he sold our childhoods out. Why did Elmo become bigger than Sulley? Because he had a better agent, of course.
Goddamn shrieking pile of lint.
W: Do you start the process of creating books with a theme? Or do you notice that the drawings in your sketchbook correspond to a general idea, like, say, boss-i-cide?
G: With 101 Ways, the publisher approached me after their staff Shaman saw me in a vision. It just came together after that.
W: What books are currently on your bedside table?
G: Salt: A World History - Mark Kurlansky
The Braindead Megaphone - George Saunders
Bears: A Brief History - Bernd Brunner
The Dundwich Horror - H.P. Lovecraft
W: Are you still in touch with Bigfoot?
G: He said he's taking time to "hibernate" (read: go on a bender) His money will run out soon. He'll be back.
W: What five songs would you put on a mix-tape soundtrack for killing your boss?
G: Les Ognions - Sidney Bechet
Knoxville Girl - Wilburn Brothers
Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert and the Tijana Brass
It Rubs the Lotion On Its Skin - Greenskeepers
9 to 5 - Dolly Parton
Celebrity assassins Tim Beresford, Richard Crouse, Stacey May Fowles, Evan Munday, and Hal Niedzviecki will demonstrate Roumieu’s methods for executing your boss. If you speak softly and ask him in a non-threatening way, Roumieu will sign your copy of 101 Ways Of Killing Your Boss.
